Epic Boobs Save Superman 64

Superman 64 has been plagued with being an “abysmal” game since it was released over a decade ago. Personally I have grown tired of this gaming sucking and since Titus Software hasn’t done anything about it, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

The Box Art

The first thing that I had to change was the box art on Superman 64. The box art lacked originality, so I decided to cover most of it with a tiny lady that had some really big buh-zahn-guhs (pictured above.) I think this game is looking better already.

Repair The Image

IGN said that Titus Software “game is executed so poorly that it actually serves to butcher the reputation of the prominent action hero.” Well IGN I wanted to make things right to restore the image of Superman. Now instead of having boring non-playable characters we will have sexy non-playable characters. To make sure that Superman keeps his composure he will look away every time one of our sexy NPC’s enters the frame. Well so far this game is looking passable, but I want to make sure this game gets at least an 8/10 so time to make one more change.

Superman Ultimate TA-TA’s

Joe Fielder at GameSpot said “meanwhile, the mission objectives require you to fly through hoops that Lex Luthor has inexplicably left suspended in the air.” Sounds to me like someone didn’t like flying through hopes in the game. Well Joe I decided to give some reason for flying through those hopes, and hopefully you can stay motivated to get to where you need to be when flying. I doubled the epic boobs for this one folks!

The Verdict

If I were to release this game today I am sure I could easily sell 1 million copies on launch day, even at the $60 price tag I would charge. It’s pretty obvious now what boobs can do for a video game that would be absolutely abysmal without them. Developers take note, MOAR BEWBS please.